Your “I do” has turned into “I don’t.” When you walked down the aisle, you envisioned a life of permanent marital bliss, but reality has not been so kind. It is now time to end your marriage. You want a divorce, but how do you go about actually preparing for this huge life change? In this article, we’ve pulled together some of our best pre-divorce prep articles. With this divorce preparation guide in hand, you’ll know what to expect so you can power through your divorce and come out the other end stronger, better, and ready for the next chapter in your life.
You’re Going to Need Money
You may think that the first step to getting a divorce is to file a petition with the court. Nope! As long as your situation isn’t dire, you should first make sure that you have access to cash. You’re going to need to be able to pay your attorney and possibly look for new housing before your settlement. Build up a cash reserve so that your husband can’t leave you high and dry when he receives your divorce petition.
Make Sure You Can Access Cash!
Consider Whether a Separation Might Be the Better Option
Even if you want your marriage to be over, a separation may be a better choice for important financial reasons. For example, if you are self-employed or work at a small company, you may rely on your husband’s health insurance to cover your medical expenses. If you and your husband are on agreeable terms and neither of you is seeking to re-marry right away, a separation may be the pragmatic choice.
Should You Choose a Separation Instead of a Divorce?
Choose a Divorce Attorney
Every woman’s situation is different when she approaches divorce, so there really is no one-size-fits-all divorce plan. That’s why it can be so helpful to hire a divorce attorney before you file the paperwork. Your divorce attorney can help you determine the full scope of your marital estate, search for hidden assets, and develop your settlement strategy before you pull the trigger. Your attorney can also walk you through different settlement approaches, including mediation and collaborative divorce.
How to Choose a Divorce Attorney
Search for Hidden Assets
The key to getting your fair share of your marital estate is knowing the full scope of the assets you and your husband own. Many women are surprised to learn the full value of their husband’s business, and some have no idea that their husbands own land or extra vehicles. Finding these assets will become much more difficult after you serve your husband with divorce papers. When he realizes that he may lose a big chunk of his wealth, he could start trying to hide assets. That’s why it is important to look for and reveal as many assets as possible before the divorce.
Where to Look for Hidden Assets
Burnish Your Resume
If your husband’s income allowed you to stay at home, then a divorce means you’ll likely need to find a job to get by. While you can certainly ask for both child support and spousal support (also known as alimony), it likely won’t be enough to keep you afloat. As you prepare for divorce, update your resume and put out feelers. It will be much less stressful to jump into the job search before you are on your own and the bills are past due.
Preparing for a New/Better Job
Prepare for the Financial Reality of Divorce
The average woman faces a 73% loss in her standard of living after a divorce. Let that sink in for just a bit. Even as you start to consider divorce, now is the time to begin preparing for your new financial reality. You don’t want to have to figure out why you can’t pay your bills when the debt collectors are calling. Instead, put together your post-divorce budget NOW so that you can use it as a guide during your divorce negotiations.
Creating a Post-Divorce Budget
The best way to prepare for a divorce is to attend a Second Saturday Divorce Workshop in your area. In these workshops, you will hear from divorce attorneys, divorce financial specialists, psychologists, and other professionals who can give you the tools you need to prepare for this huge life change.
For 11 good month he refused to have sex with me…can I stand on it for devioce
In most states, irreconcilable differences is sufficient grounds for divorce. If your state is a fault state, then you’ll have to find out what the other spouse must be guilty of doing to show fault.
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I left my husband of 25 years a year ago. He just filed for devioce. I told him i would not sigh until he has my name off the house so now he says he is going to get me for abandonment. I left because he was controlling and stayed drunked all the time. Now i find out he had moved another woman in the house and said his taking me to court if i dont sigh and i will have to pay half the bills. All i asked for was 10000 dollars and he have no rights to my retirement and my name off the house. I dont have money to fight him what are my chances coming out to the good
It’s very likely that abandonment isn’t even a thing under your state’s laws. If you and your husband can’t agree on the terms of the property split and support, then you may have to ask a judge to decide.
My attorney’s advice is the polar opposite of what this post advocates:
“Many women are surprised to learn the full value of their husband’s business, and some have no idea that their husbands own land or extra vehicles. Finding these assets will become much more difficult after you serve your husband with divorce papers. When he realizes that he may lose a big chunk of his wealth, he could start trying to hide assets. That’s why it is important to look for and reveal as many assets as possible before the divorce.”
I was advised that up until the moment he is served, he can transfer assets and/or take money out of our various accounts and it would be nearly impossible to recoup that. On the other hand, once he is served, an immediate court order goes into effect preventing him from transferring assets.
Well, let’s think this through. I’ll pretend I’m your husband and you serve me with divorce papers, and I am bent on having you get as little as possible. And there are temporary restraining orders written in the divorce papers that you served that say that I am forbidden to transfer assets to my girlfriend, but I do it anyway, and you didn’t know what was there before so you don’t know that I did that. Now what? The judge could punish him for it if the judge finds out, but who is going to tell the judge what I did? You don’t know, my girlfriend still loves me, and I’m not going to go to court and confess it.