When you join your life with another in marriage, you make the promise to share all the joys and challenges of the future together…but does that include debt? What if you are a diligent saver while your husband comes into the marriage with $50,000 in student loan debt? What if he dreams of starting his own business but needs to take out a massive business loan? As his spouse, are you going to be on the line if he can’t pay? (Learn more about Money Harmony and Marriage.)
The answer to this question will depend on four important factors:
- When the debt was incurred
- What the debt was for
- Who accepted responsibility for the debt
- Your state of residence
Clean Slate After Marriage
It is not unusual for one spouse to enter into a marriage with student loan debt, a mortgage, or a lingering car loan. When you say, “I do,” are you also taking responsibility for your new hubby’s debts? You can breathe a sigh of relief. You are not responsible for any debt your spouse incurred before your marriage, unless you incurred the debt together (for example – by signing a mortgage loan together). We should note here that even though you are not responsible for your spouse’s debts prior to marriage, it is very important that you two have a frank discussion about your finances before you walk down the aisle. Student loan debt is understandable, but if your husband-to-be has maxed out his credit cards, that could bode poorly for future financial harmony, not to mention potentially make it difficult for him to qualify for future loans at low interest rates.
Why Your State of Residence Matters
What happens if your husband incurs significant debt during marriage? Are you going to have to hawk your engagement ring to bail him out? That actually depends in big part on where you live. A handful of states known as “community property states,” view almost all income, assets, and debts acquired by either spouse during marriage to be owned equally by both spouses. This is a very good thing if your spouse earns a big paycheck, because that means you have a right to half his salary. However, the flip side of the coin isn’t so pretty. If your spouse takes out a $100,000 business loan and then his business venture folds, you may be on the hook for half the loan amount. Ouch!
The community property states are: Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, and Wisconsin. (Couples in Alaska have the choice to follow the rules of a community property state as well). Regardless of where you live, you should always be aware of your spouse’s spending habits and general financial situation, but this is even more critical if you live in a community property state.
Equitable Distribution States
If you do not live in a community property state, then by default you live in an equitable distribution state. The laws vary from state-to-state, but generally speaking, this means that each spouse’s income and debts are their own in many cases. If your husband buys his dream muscle car and then can’t make the payments, his creditors can’t go after you. This is important to know, because some sleazy collection agencies may try to convince you that you are responsible for paying off his debt. You aren’t!
There are some exceptions to this general rule. If one spouse incurs debt on things that benefit both spouses (or the family), then the other spouse may be held liable for half the debt. This could include things like food, childcare costs, college costs, etc. Also, if you co-sign a mortgage or loan, you are accepting responsibility for that debt.
How to Extricate Yourself from Your Spouse’s Debt
Regardless of where you live, it is a smart idea to make an appointment with a financial advisor or family law attorney so that you can understand the specific laws in your state regarding debt in marriage. If you live in a community property state and are not too keen on being held responsible for your spouse’s spending frenzies, you can shield yourself with a well-written pre-nuptial or post-nuptial agreement.
Have more questions about paying off debt? Check out some great articles on investing and saving.
Hi: This story is a doozy! My spouse of 31 years and I have been living apart for the last 12 years. He just sort of disappeared and I did nothing to find him. I stayed in the marital home (in CALIF) and paid the home off and all the bills for repairs etc. Two years ago, he reappeared thru his son (not my son) and the husband has Alzheimer’s. I helped one son fill out the paperwork for Medi-Cal and he was admitted to a long term care facility 8 hours away. The other son managed to get himself appointed POA at the nursing home by saying there was no one else and has since done everything he can to spend whatever cash my husband had on hand (about $150k), which he found hidden in my husband’s truck (he later dumped the truck in the desert). I also discovered the other son has been receiving and spending my husband’s pension check. This is just a giant mess. Basically,I am waiting for the husband to die and I will then sell the house which is held in (joint tenancy in Calif), so it will belong to me. I have tried to get the pension sent to the nursing home to help offset expenses there, but the son has it all tied up. This is SO convoluted and messed up I don’t even know where to start. I had started divorce proceedings years ago, but my lawyer advised I just wait until husband dies due to community property situation. Meanwhile, I’ve already wasted the last 10 years. Any advice of ANY kind would be appreciated. This is the WEIRDEST experience I’ve ever even heard of. What, if anything, do you suggest? Als
If the nursing home isn’t getting paid, you may have a problem, since they may have a claim against any assets your husband owned at the date of his death. Since he would be part-owner of your house, that could cause problems for you. If I were in your shoes, I’d get some advice about this from an estate planning attorney.
My husband is the saver. I give at least half my income to our joint account and he pays the main bills (house, insurance). We pay our vehicles separately. Anything else needed he doesn’t spend on except for food. I end up in debt, and it’s getting larger, while he ups his 401k to 15% and has an additional personal savings. This is the first year he makes the same amount of money as me (I’ve always made 20% more, but because I have a kid, I have paid 2/3 of bills since she’s not his). I know I spend too much, and I’m the only one in debt. He uses joint money to make sure all joint and his personal cards are paid off every month. I don’t have enough to do that because the debt keeps getting larger and larger with every vet visit, Dr appt, or household need. What happens in Michigan if we get divorced? I make good money but I’m worried about if I can afford my debt and to still pay all the necessary. We also bought a house 2 years ago. I’m on the title but the loan is in his name.
I don’t know what the law is in Michigan, but in many states debts that are incurred during marriage are considered marital debt, no matter which spouse’s name the credit card is in. Similarly, in many states retirement savings during the marriage is considered marital property even though the account is in only one spouse’s name. And it is likely that you are entitled to support from him. Talk to an attorney or someone familiar with the laws of your state.
I am disabled and receive disability benefits. My husband pays the mortgage, utilities, water, cable, and cell. He gives me $60 a week for food. I receive $760a month and I pay for everything else I need or want. I pay for all my meds, med bills, copays deductibles gas, clothes, toiletries, hair care, dental services, vision services, entertainment! Needless to say after being married for 25 years to someone who resents and financially isolates me because I’m disabled and can’t earn $$ like the corporate skirt he’d hoped I’d be, I think I should look into divorce!!! What does this look like for me and him financially?
You likely will receive alimony — how much and for how long depends on the laws of your state, so you’ll need to ask someone who knows the laws of your state. Go to SecondSaturday.com and click on “Find a Divorce Workshop Near Me.” You can attend on-line or in-person, depending on your preference. There you’ll be able to connect with divorce professionals and ask your questions and get the guidance you need.
My husband recently took out mortgage for his home which had been on land contract before. I was against it given his age as well as the home itself being older and in need of so much work. I refused to sign or co sign for mortgage. If he passes away am i to become responsible for mortgage?
The mortgage is tied to the home. So if you get the home, you will be responsible for paying off the mortgage.
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Ex husband took both vehicle. He defaulted on truck loan. I’m cosigner. Year later he’s remarried. Can I put liens on any property he’s accumulating now for the $9800 default? Or take him to court for it? My credit score now sucks and I can’t get a car loan now without hi down payment and or cosigner.
I’m sorry, but I’m not an attorney and I don’t know the law regarding leining property.
My husband has loans for both of our cars in his name. This happened during our marriage. I am a saver and he the spender. He wants me to cash out my 401K to pay off both cars so we can divorce with little to no debt. He has no cash/savings for himself. I would essentially be paying his car off for him ($10K). Everything has been amicable until now, as we are divorcing without an attorney. We live in Texas.
Talk to an attorney to see if that makes sense, given Texas law. It may be okay if the funds in your 401(k) are community and the loan is community during the marriage, but there may be some wrinkle in the law that goes against this. I do know that you’ll have taxes to pay, so you will likely end up owing taxes to the government next Spring.
Asking for a friend whose husband was recently arrested and suspended from his nursing job. She is worried about paying bills. I’m not sure how many bills are in both of their names, but she knows her income as an LCSW (agency funded by a NFP) will not be sufficient.
In this circumstance, should she speak with a Family Law attorney or does she have leverage of any type?
Thank you.
I’m not sure what a family law attorney could do, since this is a financial problem she is having, not a legal one. If she’s wondering whether she needs to pay the bills in his name alone, that would be a question that an attorney might be able to answer.
When I married my spouse he was already retired. We are separated and I need to know if I am entitled to any money? There are no children involved
The laws of each state are different. You’ll need to consult an attorney familiar with the laws in your locale.